Mental Health Monday week1

Hi Thinking out loud here xx :D

It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve done a post that hasn’t been a poem, its also been two weeks since I last uploaded so feel like this is going to be a much-needed upload. Plus it’s early and on a Monday which never happens. So grab a drink, a snack and a comfy seat this could get long.

I like a lot of people I think have found this year to be a weird one, my brain is starting to get a little bored of itself, I think being an introvert and staying in is suitable for a little while, but even we need to remember that the outside world isn’t completely bad and getting some fresh air and exercise is very much needed. (Note to self here that getting out of my own thoughts is always needed.) It is a little more challenging with COVID and second waves seeming to be happening in more places, but that shouldn’t stop us from being outside, open areas and distancing is doable and is relatively easy as I have found this weekend with the fam.

Towards the end of last week, I was starting to let my thoughts take over, I was starting to overthink everything, something that doesn’t happen often but when it does, it’s like everything is hitting all at once. I allow my thoughts to build up, and it’s hard to not let that happen. That’s when I start to get so into writing and forget about other things that are good for me and help clear my brain.

Because of the nature of the things I write, it’s so easy for my thoughts to go into overdrive, so when my cousin said on Saturday about booking into yoga I allowed myself to book as well, (I say allowed myself because a lot of the time I talk myself out of going when I know how much I love it when we go.) Plus who wouldn’t want to go when you have your favourite Scotsman teaching the class.

Saturday was the start of head-clearing, and a very much needed and overdue hot yoga class, and my best one yet, my body had clearly missed it and was very ready to be back in the hot and sweaty studio. I actually for the first time followed my breath, allowed myself to enjoy it, despite forgetting one of the positions involved standing on our knuckles, the day before the recycling bin lid had slammed partly shut on one of mine (I had to miss out standing on one finger but pushed on with the others, it made my balance a little off, I was happy with myself that I persisted, something that before COVID, I would have sat down on my towel and skipped completely.)

I was able to do all the bending back movements, including the one that really cool guitarists do. I knew I could do it, but as I said to my cousin whenever we got to that part I was always getting to the point of being over that part of the class, but Saturday was different. Saturday made me appreciate what I knew I was able to do, what I knew I really do enjoy and what I had missed, I don’t know what was different maybe my mindset, perhaps the physical and mental need of yoga. Perhaps it was knowing how good it is both physically and mentally or simply, being with a teacher who genuinely loves yoga, loves teaching and loves helping us with our practice as much as we love helping him with his.

I also got some vacuuming done, it’s mundane I know but seeing little crumbs and purple feathers everywhere (the little cousin has been practising a dance that she hopefully has coming up, that is all dependant on how COVID goes, in the next little while. Her costume has these purple feathers that come off every time she moves.) So that was Saturday the start of head-clearing, something I don’t think I have needed more than I did, a little side note the way I described it to my cousin after yoga was I had been getting so into my thoughts and as we always say we never regret going to yoga, we are always thankful for it, and always say we need to go more, something I am determined to do.

Our yoga place has all the required restrictions, they do a deep clean after every class, and some positions have been changed for now, and teachers aren’t allowed to help with moving us into the correct position if we are a little out. They are so aware of how much yoga is needed, classes are much smaller, and the need for booking is now required. We have taped lines for where our mats go, so we don’t touch our neighbours, it’s a little weird considering sometimes in some positions we do end up touching, those have been altered slightly, so we don’t touch. A bizarre concept to get your head around for sure.

Sunday I carried on with the head-clearing, we went for such a lovely earlyish morning walk to see some wild kangaroos and koalas, something I will never tire or get bored of seeing, the kangaroos were everywhere though we only saw one koala spotted by me, I earned the dollar (still waiting for it.) We then did gardening in the arvo, clearing and tidying the front garden which ended up being four trailer loads of green waste to add to the drying pile at the bottom of the garden to burn before fire restrictions set in, I have a feeling they will be put in place soon given today is the last day of winter.

We all agreed that on weekends we need to go for a walk, especially as soon we will hopefully be having a little puppy joining the fam. We all noticed that we’ve been getting tied down with work, renos and gardening, not necessarily being together as a fam during those times. But this weekend has put in motion a new plan, and one I think will be beneficial. I guess me partly voicing me getting too into my thoughts helped.

I don’t talk about my overthinking a lot I do keep a lot of things to myself, I always have, and I know I still will, part of the reason why I started writing was so I had an outlet for the overthinking, granted that was through the form of lyrics, which with now going onto novel writing has over time changed that outlet, and I have let the lyric and thought writing slip. With having let it slip, I will help myself more by getting back into that. Its shown to me that with talking and saying what I think we’ve all in away needed was good. I’m not good with opening up, I find it quite confronting, talking about feelings, emotions and general well being, it can be overwhelming which is why I’m happy to write it all down in lyrics that I no know one will see. It at least that way gets it out of my head and frees up some space, take it as if you were to clear space on a computer, Ipad or your phone because you are running out of space, we also need to do that with ourselves if only to minimise the mental build of the daily intake of new information, that happens unknowingly every day.

It’s also been nice getting away from social media, even though I have still in part been on over the weekend. The few hours over both days away from a screen was refreshing, and again something I know I need to do more of to help calm the overthinking.

It’s so easy to let excuses get in the way I know a favourite is “I’d love to do that, but life happens” life does happen, but that shouldn’t mean we should stop living because of work, renos, gardening or other things that over time become mundane, and a little boring. We need to remember that those things will still be there tomorrow or next week, but life will pass us by and what we can do now we won’t always be able to do it. It’s slightly more problematic in some places with restrictions I realise. Still, if you can take time this week or this weekend to spend time on your mental health, whether you struggle with your mental health or you don’t, I think we could all do with a mental detox, step away from screens, step outside, spend time with people in your bubble, and do something you really love, or have been meaning to do but haven’t given yourself the time to do it. There isn’t a better time than right now. This goes without saying but keep COVID in mind keep the distancing if that applies but don’t let it be a thing that stops you from living. Unless you are in lockdown, or in a restriction, there are things you can do at home that allow you to be away from a screen and help clear your mind.

If you are like me, then a mind clearer is much needed and if not a little overdue. I have for a little while been thinking of starting a new series I guess you could call it, a little bit of a kick start to the week, where each week I ramble on about something mental health-related, there is so much to talk about especially at the moment. I know for me as I’ve already said as much as it seems daunting talking about it, it helps. It is hard to talk about, but I want to start getting out of that mindset of we can’t talk about it, it’s taboo to talk about it because honestly, it shouldn’t be, it should be apart of everyday conversations. It should be talked about more openly and not be seen as us not coping because its a subject that isn’t touched. This could involve other things that lead to other topics, which also are seen as unspoken topics. If this year teaches us anything it should be that we need to open up more, we need to talk about what gets us down what helps us when we are down and away of moving forward and looking to things that can and will happen in the future from the good and the bad and ways of coping with everything that happens. It will be called Mental Health Mondays with the week number, so this will be week one. If this is a series you would like let me know in the comments, share it around #MentalHealthMonday and let’s get talking about things that shouldn’t be taboo, let’s help each other, whether we are physically together or supporting from afar, spread the virtual love and hugs and share the happy moments along with the ones that you might need help with, we are stronger and better together so Kia Kaha, Kia Maia, Kia Manawa, Me Te Aroha. Be strong, Be brave, Be Steadfast, with love.

Also, if there is anything specifically that you would like me to talk about, please let me know in the comments, this is something I would like as many people as possible to join in on.

Thank you as always for reading. I hope you have a lovely day. 

Love always Thinking out lout xx :D

Thinking out loud

Hey Thinking out loud here xx :D

I have been absent for a couple of weeks. I needed a break to get on top of writing/ editing and critique reading. I also needed to give my brain a little bit of time away from the weekly uploads. I have found that during this time of isolation and not being able to do certain things, I needed to let my brain rest. I half feel it has, and half feel it hasn’t, but I am ready to do another blog upload. It seems I can’t be away from any kind of writing for too long even if I have still been writing during these two weeks, my brain goes ‘ah but you haven’t written a blog post though have you?’ True I haven’t so here we are, at yet another blog post. This week I want to do something a little different, and it might be something I do with future blog posts, but we’ll see how this one does. I find I get bored quickly with one topic, so find myself trying to change up my writing when and where I can. Hope you don’t mind, this blog is one of those things I change the most. Whether it be a poem one week or month to a short story the next to just random musings as and when they come to me. So find a comfy seat, grab a drink and a snack this could get long. I do love to type, and I do like a long post. I hope you have a little half-hour or so to spare.

I find it funny how I’ve never actually titled an upload called Thinking out loud, so here today I present Thinking out loud and thinking out loud is what I’m going to do. A friend recently said she loves reading these posts as it shows my thoughts, but that got me thinking I very rarely let loose with my thoughts on here. I used to in the early days of this blog, but now my thoughts mostly come through those as characters in a short story or a poem, however, I do sometimes do the odd post based on something that is happening but very rarely something that has come straight from me, so it’s time I rectify that.

Over the past couple of days, I have been getting back into listening to I guess I’d call them spiritualist though they are so much more than that, they are guiders through life and in many way teachers. The main person I’ve listened to and have listened to on and off for a few years is the late and great Dr Wayne Dyer I find myself coming back to him at random stages, but I find I’m never not thinking about what he says. 

I’m someone who for as long as I can remember always grew up with a more significant understanding of life around me, and an awareness that nothing truly dies from not only people and animals but nature as well. I know as a child, I didn’t get that understanding from listening to Wayne I didn’t know about him when I was younger. That early understanding came from my parents (no, they are not hippies). Still, they have over the years not necessarily when I was a small child but definitely since I’ve got older and this understanding has grown, they instilled the importance of everything we have around us and to be kind to everything and everyone. 

Now as I listen to “spiritualist” (I think in need to find a different word for them as that doesn’t seem right), I’m understanding more and becoming more thankful especially in these COVID-19 times. I find myself looking out of the window and being grateful for the trees that help us breathe, the grass and the plants. Then find myself thinking that we so easily get rid of them and more often than not, we don’t replace them. If the reason is that a tree has died and needed getting rid of it isn’t replaced for new growth and new nature enhances. I find that over the past three months or so where nature hadn’t boomed before because of human interference, it is now expanding. I think we can learn a lot from how natural life is changing with us not constantly being on roads and our lives slowing down, maybe this is what the earth and all of its inhabitants need more of. 

Over the last few days, I have had an appreciation and thankfulness that we are so incredibly blessed to live with the things we have. We are so lucky for the air we breathe, the water we can get from a tap and the ability to go wherever we want whenever we want. I find it surprising though how when you take away one of those things, everything changes. I see it like old fashioned weighing scales where you have two dishes hanging side by side. Say you put two bunches of grapes in one side and only one bunch of grapes in the other, the side with two bunches of grapes is clearly heavier, therefore, is weighed down more. Now say you remove one of the bunches and it balances out now obviously the remaining bunches have to be exactly the same weight for this they are the same weight. 

Now put that into what is happening around us, we’ve taken away the privilege of being able to go anywhere in the world we’ve effectively taken away one of the weights from one of the dishes. There was air in one dish and in the other running water from a tap (let’s say these two things way the same) let’s say in the air dish we then add the ability to travel absolutely anywhere in the world no restrictions just you and a desire to be somewhere. Now that air dish is being weighed down, there is now an imbalance. Say this is the pollution in the air, the murky colour of water in rivers, streams, lakes etc. grey hazes in populated cities, nature struggling, a decline in the animal population. Trees and plants getting sick with having to fight for light and space, or simply being destroyed for our benefit of the new towns, cities and homes. 

If we take away travel from the air dish we see this new balance, we see the changes in nature we see the quality in the air, animals in some places taking over, sediments being able to settle in rivers, lakes, streams etc. For the first time in hundreds of years from us not using them, we are seeing the clear water. Therefore we are also breathing in cleaner air, from this slow pace not being able to go anywhere way of living. From this I hope we learn that yes sometimes we need to use transport for getting us to places, but we also don’t always have to go out, we are learning more about our back gardens, and what we have on our doorsteps, by that I don’t mean our literal back gardens, I mean our local areas, and the walks that before COVID I can guarantee we didn’t know existed. 

I’m not saying go back to times when cars weren’t readily available, or when it was back to only being horse and carriage. I’m saying maybe we need to look more closely at what we use to make cars, planes, trains etc. go, I’m saying look at the petrol, diesel, unleaded petrol etc. and oil that goes into them. I’m saying make environmentally-friendly (electric) vehicles more affordable. Let’s stop thinking of how much we can get out of people and turn our thoughts to how we can help in keeping the environment clean, keeping pollution down and help keep the planet become greener, a more eco-friendly and a healthier place to be. I know this won’t happen overnight, and I know this way of life didn’t happen overnight, but we have to start somewhere so why not make the changes we have already made be the starting place.

I went on a bit of a tangent there and completely diverted from Dr Wayne Dyer and what I have been listening to. But that’s the thing although he passed away (I say passed away and not died because as I said way back at the beginning of this post, I believe nothing truly dies.) Long before COVID-19 was a thing, he talked about appreciating what we have, being thankful for the now, and not letting things get on top of us. 

He often says that what we think whether it be positive or negative thoughts what we think that is what’s going to happen. What we inwardly think is what we outwardly put into the world. I honestly think that has shown so clearly with COVID with the countries that have gone “right we are doing lockdown for this long, after this set period we will re-evaluate where we are and change what needs to be changed from there.” Compared to the countries that have gone “we have COVID, we have a few instances of deaths, but we are still OK we are still able to not be in lockdown we are still able to go out BUT be cautious.” to those countries now facing what I honestly think is going to be hard to change and get that balance back that I was talking about. That balance of air, water and the ability to travel. I also just want to add that I do believe that having all three of those in equal quantity is possible. We just need to find the right balance, how do we do that? I don’t know. 

Again back to Wayne and what I’ve been listening to. Over this time I have been connecting more with my inner self (god how one with nature that makes me sound, no I’m not a hippie, nor do is wish to be one, I also have nothing against anyone who is a hippie). Still, I have been connecting with my inner self, and I suddenly have this sense of calm, and I have been practising that what you think is what you put out into the world. From the positive to the negative and it is so true when I have been having negative thoughts I have made a conscious effort to stop myself before hopefully they have had the chance to manifest, fingers crossed at least. 

I had the strongest urge to write a manifestation list. I’ve never written one before but seeing all these things written down, and already starting to do some of them has helped in the positive thoughts and the lighter feeling that I have come to notice. I know when people recommend things and say how wonderful and amazing it is and say all these lovely words about it, it can seem off-putting. But please if you do ever get the chance to listen to one of Dr Wayne Dyer’s radio shows, a video on youtube or read one of his books I strongly urge you to do so. Take the time to listen to what he talks about, it is so eye-opening, calming and really puts everything into perspective. Another thing he talks a lot about is perspective and somehow it fits so well with the world around us right now. 

I just want to point out that before writing this post, I didn’t see the COVID imbalance thing as scales that thought came to me purely through writing that part of this blog post. But now that I have written it I can’t stop seeing it as being those old fashioned scales, so I do hope that little analogy has helped, as random as it was.

As always thank you so much for reading this blog post, I know it was far from what I feel I usually write, but this is something I think I have been needing to write. I might make this a more regular thing but as I said at the beginning I shall wait and see how this blog post goes. I did enjoy writing this, and I hope you have enjoyed reading it and I sincerely hope it didn’t take too long to read. 

During these times I am still thankful for key workers the world over, I know some countries are slowly getting back to a little bit of normal, but critical workers are still out there working hard so to you lovely people thank you again. To everybody, please stay safe, if you can keep social distancing, even with restrictions slowly being lifted. 

Just quickly before I leave this post and before it gets any longer, I saw a thing last week on Facebook a picture showing these kids who were born in 1900 they went through WWI when they were fourteen. It then ended when they were eighteen 22 million people were killed. Later that year they went through a Spanish flu epidemic that lasted until they were twenty, 50 million people died. 

At twenty-nine, the great depression began, unemployment hit 25% a global GDP dropped 27% that ran until they were thirty-three. At thirty-nine, WWII started, they weren’t even at what we now class as middle-aged. At forty-one, the USA was fully pulled into the war, it then ended when they were forty-five. Between their thirty-ninth and forty-fifth birthday, 75 million people perished in the war, not to mention the Holocaust that killed 6 million. 

 At fifty-two, the Korean war began 5 million people perished. Coming up to their sixty-second birthday they had the Cuban missile crisis, a tipping point in the Cold War. At sixty-four the Vietnam war began, 4 million people died in that conflict. As they turned seventy-five, the Vietnam war finally ended. 

Finally, they make it into their eighties, at eighty-five their grandchildren then thought that their grandparents didn’t understand how hard school was. Yet those grandparents and some maybe now great grandparents survived through everything history at the time had to throw at them. Might I add school being a little hard was nothing compared to what they lived through, and then I’m sure the many sleepless nights they had to encounter.

It just shows though that throughout history yes, there have been many hard times, many deaths, some uncountable that have come with those hard times. Though they have never lasted, there has always been an end date, they may have gone on for years, but they have always ended. 

Remember these times too will end, we will talk about it in years to come; I’m sure as we talk about everything that has happened in not only our lives but our ancestors’ lives. It will become a memory in time. To make it a memory in time and for it to get added to the history books, we have to keep safe, keep social distancing. Although restrictions maybe being lifted still only go out as and when we need to. Keep safe, be kind and be thankful. This as all events in history will pass.

Kia Kaha, Kia Maia, Kia Manawanui, Me Te Aroha. Be strong, Be brave, Be steadfast, with love. 

Love always Thinking out loud xx:D

World War 3

By Freya Anastasia Hatfield

 Its World War 3, no weapons have been used,

no bombs being dropped,

no armies going off to fight for their land, their country and their loved ones.

Instead, it’s a virus that spreads silently as we walk past strangers in the street,

it’s doctors, nurses and health staff on the front line risking their lives and their loved ones when they eventually return home from a shift.

We’re no longer scared of planes flying over with bombs dropping, its don’t stand so close to me, don’t touch me, you could be a career.

It’s protecting your face, washing your hands, keeping things clean, as they should be, it’s social distancing and staying indoors, only essential workers allowed to leave.

Lockdowns that last for weeks on end, more time on hand but still no ambition to do the things you put off and kept saying “I’ll do that when I have the time.”

It affects not only the old but the young alike, those with compromised immune systems don’t go out, those who don’t have health problems shouldn’t go out, but some still do.

It takes no prisoners, it holds no boundaries, anyone it sees it will attach itself to them.

It fills your lungs with liquid, it gives you a dry cough,

it makes you want to touch your face, it says it’s ok I won’t get you,

you’ll be the exception, don’t trust it, don’t leave it to chance,

you risk your life you risk the lives of many more.

It’s COVID-19 they say, who they are I don’t know,

but it seems like World War 3, it’s been around for a while now since November 2019, we didn’t realise at the time how big it would be, it’s taken over the world quicker than it takes the earth to spin in a year.

It’s a war with no weapons just a virus spreading,

we always said the next world war wouldn’t be violence, it’s still fighting only different.

It’s fighting for your life, fighting to stay healthy,

fighting to protect those you love against a virus that can’t be seen.

This is World War 3, staying indoors, countries on lockdown, no one going out, homeschooling children, working from home.

This is World War 3 a pandemic that’s taken over, it knows no age welcome to World War 3 aka COVID-19.

Endnote

I hope everyone is still keeping safe, and making sure you are all still distancing from people you aren’t isolating with. It’s hard I know it seems like it’s going to last forever, but it isn’t this is just for the next little while but this I hope shows us how we aren’t untouchable, how much we all are vulnerable, so please for your loved ones keep safe, stay at home if you can. A massive Thank You again to all health staff the world over and essential workers you all are doing a fantastic job, I hope this soon is over so you can go back to less busy times, thank you again for risking your lives to save us.

Kia Kaha, Kia Maia, Kia Manawa, me te Aroha. Be strong, Be brave, Be steadfast, with love.

Love always Thinking out loud xx :D