Going home and overthinking

 Hi Thinking out loud here xx :D

This like recent posts could be long so please grab a comfy seat, a drink, a snack and take this time for you.

Disclaimer, this is a somewhat hard post to post, I think I keep a lot of things to myself and overthinking is one of those things, I don't know why I do it, but it seems it's something I do a lot, so if this is a trigger for you I would suggest maybe not reading this blog post, and waiting for next weeks, however, if you have any suggestions of how to help calm overthinking or minimalist it to an extent, please leave them in the comments section below I would love to know and try what works for you.

I am heading home, I can’t even begin to say how excited, nervous, but mostly happy I am to be saying this. I love Australia, and I know without a doubt, I am going to miss my family over here but being away from home through a pandemic that is still happening has been hard. At first, I was coping. I honestly thought it wasn’t going to last nearly as long as it has. But then a few months ago and I didn’t know when I’d be going back or even if I would be going back this year or if I would be able to go back thankfully a friend f mine kept telling me that NZ citizens will always be allowed back home. It helped but that still not knowing was playing on my mind more than I actually let on. Not only being home for Christmas but for my dads birthday and to make at least one of my friends 25th birthdays hopefully. 

It’s funny because, at that time of not knowing everything somehow all came together, I was talking to my little cousin who lives in England who was like just tell them, tell them you want to go home. I was saying I will, I will, I promise I will, and I didn’t, I don’t know why I didn’t, but it turns out I didn’t need to. I guess this is why, things have a way of working out on their own, my cousins have found that they can mostly do their jobs for now from home when they need to, it’s not going to be like that for long after I go, which again these things have a way of working out. 

Around the same time as this all falling into place I was at the beginning of starting Mental Health Mondays uploads, something that helped with the not knowing but also helps with trying to figure t all out before needing to I id need to say anything. It wasn’t easy but this I guess goes with how I overthink every situation if I am given a chance which is a lot. I overthought what if I can’t get home. Five months ago I was very ok with that idea two months ago not so much, so much so I got to the point where on a night I would just cry because I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it. At the time didn’t want to talk about it really or write about it, even now writing this I’m wondering if I want to write about it. Still, I figure if I don’t then I’m going to continue overthinking it, continue letting it eat away at me until I am home. 

That’s the thing though as much as I’m going home I’m not, I have two weeks of iso two weeks of me and this brain on my own, as much as I’m looking forward to having the time to write, read, relax a little I’m dreading when I go into procrastination mode and then, in turn, go into my own thoughts, go into overthinking, I’m hopeful with being back in NZ I will be able to overthink less as I’ll be that one step closer to being home. Still, there is no saying how this brain will cope. I have a plan, I have ideas of what to do, and know that I have people I can talk to, my Aussie fam has already said that we can talk/ video call, as I think they have begun to see how my brain has been getting, even if I somehow think they haven’t they have, they know me well I guess three years does that. But I have friends as well as my fam in NZ. Part of it as well as is not knowing where I will be going once I land. Before when I’ve left Aus its always been my dad picks me up from the airport after work, and we go home, the fact that won’t be happening this time scars me, but this is out of my control I’m slowly learning that if it’s out of your control, there is no point worrying about it, you can’t change it, you can’t make those decisions, they probably have already been made for that flight.

It’s hard, but I’m learning to let that bit of control go, I’m slowly learning to go with the flow which a lot of the time I can do very easily when I know all of the info, where we are going what's going to be happening, I’m usually happy with having no control and seeing what happens, but not knowing anything apart from having my flight booked, having those details and knowing I can get into iso that's my control that's what I needed to do, my control stops there. I’m finding it hard that I’m finding that hard because I before this haven’t needed to be in control of decision making, but for this not knowing anything of what happens on the plane even before getting onto the plane is hard, but something that in the month or so I have left I’m going to have to get used to and somehow let go of what has already happened in terms of where we go for iso from the plane. After that two weeks I’m totally ok with whatever happens as I know I will be home, what we do where we go won’t matter as I’ll fit back into the four that we are and be home until then I just need to sort this overthinking constantly on autopilot brain out.

But having said all of that I am happy to be going home, I can’t wait to see everyone I know in NZ and to see what NZ has to offer for the next little while, what job opportunities I get there and growing my interests, I am working on many different ventures at the moment and hope to grow them more once I am home. Though that doesn’t mean I will be waiting until I am home, I have very much started I just need to figure out the smaller details once I know I will do a blog post letting everyone know what the next venture along with writing is. I may have already mentioned it on twitter but feel it might have been a little too soon oops, haha. Still, hopefully, that will turn out to be a good thing, so yeah, in short, I am happy to be going home but nervous about not knowing what to expect and how my overthinking brain will cope with it all.

As always thank you for reading, if you made it to the end well done, you deserve a medal or something so here is an emoji medal 🥇 thank you again it means a lot, what was a little blog seems to be growing and reaching more and more people so thank you to those who have stuck with me and Thinking out loud, it’s changed over the years but also feels very much the same so thank you.

I hope you have a lovely day where ever you are in this world, and I hope the rest of this week treats you kind.

Love always Thinking out loud xx :D

Mental Health Monday week 7

Hey Thinking out loud here xx :D

I hope you take this time for you before we get started let's take three deep breaths in and out the deepest breaths you will take today One breath in all the way to your lungs through your nose hold it for a second and now breath it out all the way through your mouth, two more in all the way in through your nose, hold it for a second and out all the way through your mouth, last one in all the way in though your nose hold it for two seconds a lot can happen in two seconds and out all the way out through your mouth. Now you can find your regular breathing pattern and carry on as usual from here on in. 

Let all worries that have happened are yet to happen or aren't even going to happen go. This is your time for you, to be present with your breath, mind and body, for you to relax, find what works for you and let someone else worry for a bit. We don't need that right now, it isn't welcome whilst reading this blog post, but you. So please sit back relax I hope you are comfy as of recent weeks-long posts seem to be what is happening at the moment so while they last I hope you enjoy, I hope you have your drink of choice drink responsibly, and your snack of choice snack responsibly for you. With that, let's get this blog post started before I make it any longer with this intro which funnily enough, was written after the blog post. So it very much is longer than I intended, welcome to the life of a writer who loves to write and doesn't know when to stop. Also just have to say the procrastination was strong with this one by gosh it took a while, but here we are at uploading. Right seriously now let's get into Mental Health Monday, week 7.

This week in Queensland it is mental health week, previously though on Saturday it was world mental health day. I hope everyone took the time over the weekend to look at how you are going, if there is anything you can change to help get you to a place where you feel better if you currently are going through a bit of a hard time. Whether it's taking a break from social media, talking to a loved one, if you can safely visit a loved one, taking a day or two off from work providing you have days that you can take. Taking a little extra time for your morning or night routine (this I have been doing and the benefits mentally that I have noticed are amazing, I realise this won't work for everyone.) going for a walk getting a bit of fresh air again f you can do so safely (this once again I have done twice this weekend and the shift I have felt physically and mentally have been nice welcome.)

I know it is never easy but now more than ever our self-care has never been more important, we are still going through unprecedented times, and it is entirely understandable if you are finding it hard to relax, take time for you and thoroughly look after yourself, when I say look after yourself I'm not talking about once in awhile taking time out for you, I'm talking like a full-on weekly part of your normal routine looking after you. I know I don't do it enough (I am learning) since taking extra time on a night to look after my body as I said up at the beginning, I have noticed such a difference in how I am feeling. This I understand might not be for everyone, but once you find your way of looking after yourself in terms of your body, as in lotioning, or something that's relaxing for you. You will see some changes, I'm not talking full-on radical everything will be better but its a step to making that happening its an effort to seeing what works what doesn't work and changing knowing that changing up every few months your routine and not staying the same, as we change so too should our practices I find we can get again used to day to day life that sometimes the thought of change can be scary.

Along with a daily routine getting some fresh air I have found is an excellent mood boost, a walk is such a great way of getting out, exploring your local area and something we are still mostly able to do at the present time. Something that I for the past few years have dabbled in and this year have really allowed me to get into is yoga, a lot of the positions are designed for relieving anxieties, helping mentally and physically, connecting you back with your breath and aligning anything physically, mentally and spiritually that may have come of keel. It strengths everything and balances everything, it's not just a one thing workout it really does put everything back to how it should be though this I have to say happens over time like anything it doesn't just happen overnight or after one session. Nothing regardless of what it's called is a miracle worker everything takes its time to work. Significantly and I can't stress this enough things that claim to give you that perfect body, or glow or claim that its a life changer, those rarely work and if they do it will take longer than it claims it does.

As much as mental health is to do with your mental stability, it goes more in-depth than that, it like I've mentioned again above covers your whole body. Helping your mental health helps your physical health and vis versa. Health, as I see it from an unprofessional point of view, isn't clear cut, it isn't a one-way street however often it might be seen as being like that or even feeling like it is. And everything works differently for each individual, what works for me might not work for you, but please take everything I say as being an option, and understanding that it might and might not work. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work, it's OK. 

During this week, take the time to find what helps, and even what doesn't help because then you can honestly know what is right for you and what you can stay away from. I also find it's best going into something expecting it to be hard or challenging so it's not a shock for if it is and its a pleasant surprise if it isn't. But really do try and find those things doesnt matter how many things but if you find at least three things that work for you and can fit into a weekly or even daily routine to help in a way that as well doesn't cost a lot of money, time or effort, but can enrich you for the better and make you feel like you've made an effort purely for you and no one else. That's also another thing everything you do should be for you and no one else, it's easier said than done I know but doing it for you will make the benefit, and that want to do it more meaningful and hopefully will add to that accomplishment of having done something for you and will help in the process of yourself care and in with that self-love and self-worth, again all factors of our mental health.

I hope wherever you happen to be and regardless of this being an MHM you may not be reading this on a Monday so in that case, I hope you have a lovely day and week ahead, I hope you get done what you want to get done, but don't stress if you don't, it will get done in time. I hope that you enjoyed this blog post, as always you can always find me along with my partner in crime over on our Instagram if you do ever need a chat @allthingspositive22 thank you again for taking the time out of your day to read this post, it really does mean a lot and I hope these MHM help in some little way. I will be back on here on Thursday but if not then next Monday will Mental Health Monday week 8 (shocked face, can't believe next week is week 8)

Before we go let's do a little calm down exercise as we did at the beginning of this posts lets do three final deep breaths. Breath all of the air out, now once your lungs are empty please only do this if you can, and you don't have any form of breathing problems, breath in deep taking it all the way through your nose hold it for a second, and out through your mouth all the way this time hold for a second, two more, breath in all the way through your nose, hold for a second and out all the way through your mouth, and hold for a second, last one in all the way through your nose hold for five seconds 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and out all the way through your mouth and hold for another five-second 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and now breath as you usually would if at all throughout the day you need to breath take three breaths allow yourself to calm and then carry on with whatever it is you were doing. Thank you again for reading this post.

Love always Thinking out loud xx :D