Mental Warming Global Illness

This is a fiction piece of writing, I know what I have written a lot of people feel and live with every day, this isn't meant in any way to hurt or harm anyone. These are my own thoughts and for the most part, written from the viewpoint of a fictional character.

Imagine a life where, for months, I can go with not knowing what's happening, not being present in my own life. My body is there, but my mind is elsewhere I want to know what's going on but I can't, I try with every being in my body, but it doesn't work. I'm sat on a sofa, my body is present, but my mind isn't, I hear a cough. I walk into the room behind where I was previously sitting, staring out of a window. 
In the room I see a cot, in that cot is a baby, for a split second, I don't know who he is. That's right. I have a child, this young infant is my son. I pick him up carrying him back to where I had been, I place him on my lap remembering the life around me, the life I'm sometimes detached from. I don't remember it all but enough to get me through the next few minutes, enough for him to now be OK as he falls asleep in my arms. I won't remember this tomorrow neither will my son he's too young to understand, he's too young to know that I don't remember day to day life, that I don't remember him. 

I'm disconnected from the world around me, one day I'll remember, I can feel it, when it will be I don't know, but I will, when I do I'll be a part of life again, I'll be apart of society. I'll be me the old me before I got given a label. Before I got diagnosed. Before I found out what was 'wrong' with me. Before society had a name for what it saw me as, a name I didn't see myself as, people call it depression, anxiety, de-realisation, personality disorder, the list is endless. I see it as being me who I am I live with it. I cope with it, putting a label or a name to it makes it worse makes me feel less a part of society. My son doesn't know that to him I'm mum that's all he needs to know when he grows I'll still be mum a little different but still mum, in society I'll always be a label a name that isn't mine. 
I like it hidden away I can be me and just me no name, no label; I can live in my head and be safe until I have to leave, by then I'll be OK, I'll have helped myself, I'll have found a way to cope, with forgetting who I am. Until someone reminds me making me remember I'm not who I thought I was, telling me I'm a label, I'm a name that Isn't mine. 

I'm a part of a never-ending cycle where things have to have an explanation where the world is getting darker life is changing but we. We stay the same in a world we can't keep up with because we get stuck on trying to find out what's 'wrong' instead of moving, developing, changing what we do without needing an explanation. 
Imagine what it will be like if we don't, we'll all end with a label. A name that isn't our own. The lives we know won't be the same, the experiences we know will be a mear imprint of what they once were if we don't learn if we don't change. Our minds are there, but our bodies are left behind, left in a world that can no longer hold them, left in a world that isn't able to look after them because we didn't look after it. 
We didn't put a label on it we didn't give it a name that wasn't it's own it gave us it's own name by showing its scars. Showing us how it was starting to break down in front of us, but we do it to ourselves, we do it to others in our lives. When it comes to affecting a world, we'd instead run and hide, hoping that the life dying around us heals on its own with no change. It isn't depression, it isn't anxiety, it isn't de-realisation, it isn't a personality disorder; it isn't an endless list. It's global warming, its the world telling us it needs help, it's speaking up, and we need to listen.
I want for one day my son and his generation, to not be given labels, not be a given a name that isn't their own. I want him to be able to say this is what I feel, this is what I think, and it's OK, it's part of me, who I am, I'm not broken, I'm not 'special' I am me, I'm perfect as who I am, and I don't need to change to fit in. I want the next generation like my son to be happy with who they are, I don't want him to be like me living in a world of not knowing, living in a world where the earth is dying, living in a mind that's confused. Because who I am isn't broken, it is lost, and I'm OK with that I am me, I am enough, and I'm here to be me and to be a part of society, without the labels I've been given.

Like the mother and her child, nothing is wrong we just need to not be so loud so we can hear the devastation of what's happening around us before its too late if it isn't already too late. It doesn't need a label or a name, it can be a lesson learnt to not be repeated. Why let another living thing be taken because of us? Why let lives not be lived because we can't cope? Let's start changing, let's start working and let's start making a difference for people we put labels on for people we give names that aren't their own, and for a world, we quickly won't be able to save.

Side, not this popped into my head a couple of years ago when we first started talking about global warming and really seeing some of its impacts. I had initially planned on uploading it the day I wrote it so I couldn't let myself overthink my words, I guess the plan didn't work, but since re-reading it, I feel like now is a better time to post this short story, piece of writing whatever you want to call this. When I first wrote this, I had been thinking a lot about the world around us and how we see people differently to us, and I think this sums up how I felt and still feel about it. 
I hope this made you think about maybe your own life, people around you or the world we live in.
If you enjoyed this read or you have your own thoughts about this, please share them in the comment section lets talk about how we feel, let's see if we can make a change, or make a difference whether it be mentally, physically or for the greater good of this world.
I don't mind how you take this piece of writing if you take it for the mental notes or for the global side it's here for you to interpret it how you want to. There is no hidden letter no hidden secrets just a piece of writing that had to be written, with that I thank you for reading and hope you have a lovely day.

Love always Thinking out loud xx :) 

Woman

Woman

By Freya Anastasia Hatfield

She was told no

because she was a girl.

She was told no

because she was a female.

She was told that because of her gender, she'd be no good.

She was told that 

boys would always be better than her

in everything.

She was told that someday she'd meet someone

who would worship her,

but that she'd stay at home,

waiting for him to return from work,

a meal would have to be on the table.

The house would be clean,

and children would be looked after.

She grew up

knowing her place,

knowing where she stood,

she stood behind her husband,

she stayed at home.

She looked after the children, 

cleaned their home, 

made him food.

She did everything by the book

except for living her life.

She lived the lives of the people she loved,

she told her daughters they could be anything,

told her sons they too could be anything, 

as long as they respected not only what men wanted, 

but what women also wanted.

She told her daughters that a clean house, 

food on the table and happy children 

were all good things and should happen,

but not all by one person.

She told her daughters that they too could live a fun life, 

they could earn money,

that they didn't have to be a housewife like she was.

She loved her family and what she did,

but she didn't like that she had no life.

She had everything she wanted,

though she didn't do anything she wanted

She had to tell her husband when she was going out, 

where she was going,

what time she'd be home,

if he struggled with the kids, he expected her to return.

Enough is enough,

she made her voice heard,

this isn't a marriage,

this isn't a home,

and this isn't my life.

This is a prison,

I work day in day out and get nothing back.

On the outside, I look happy,

but inside this isn't me,

for too long I've been told no because of who I am,

I have dreams,

I have ambitions.

I want my daughters growing up 

knowing they're valued.

She stood 

picking up a bag,

her children walking in front of her.

She said

I'm no longer under your rules,

I no longer live by what you say.

I am a woman,

I am strong,

I am smart,

I am powerful,

I'm everything you are and more.

My daughters will grow up being 

strong, 

independent, 

determined, 

women.

My sons will grow up also being

strong, 

independent,

determined,

men.

They will be seen as equal

men will stay home, 

women will work.

Women will stay home

men will work.

Being a housewife will be shared.

Her daughters grew up

knowing that their father meant well,

but that he had been wrong

they grew up being strong,

being independent,

being smart,

being determined,

women.

Their brothers grew up

being strong,

being independent,

being smart,

being determined,

men.

They lived lives they wanted

when they got married and had children,

they shared the home workload

because the years had changed.

The daughters were now seen as equal to their husbands,

the sons saw their wives as being equal to them.

Their mother had taught them that what you wish for you will get,

she had shown her children how to be respectful, 

strong, 

independent, 

determined young adults.

So when the time came, 

she knew she had helped raise a generation that wanted to change the time.

She knew she'd be leaving a world behind,

where she had fought for her right,

and won that right for her children,

grandchildren,

great-grandchildren,

and generations to come.

Generations who are now told yes

because of her.