Mental Health Monday week 9

Hi Thinking out loud here xx :D

As every week grab a drink and a snack and like always drink responsibly, and snack responsibly take this time for you, find a comfy seat, put your feet up and let your breath guide you through this post. It seems I like to do a few deep breaths at the beginning of Mental Health Mondays so this week is no different. If you have any breathing problems please and I can not stress this enough, please skip this bit of Mental Health Mondays. The aim is to find calmness and stillness within ourselves and not to injure so; please do what calms you before starting this blog.

Lets take three deep breaths in and out, take a deep breath all the way in through your nose, and hold for three seconds,1, 2, 3, and all the way out, through your mouth and hold for two seconds, 1, 2. Two more to go, take a deep breath in all the way through your nose and hold for three seconds, 1, 2, 3, and out all the way through your mouth and hold for two seconds, 1, 2. The final one in all the way through your nose and hold for five seconds, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and out all the way through your mouth and hold for three seconds, 1, 2, 3, now you can find your regular breathing pattern and breath as normal having let any stresses of the day go.

This week is number nine, still finding it mad that I have come back every Monday for nine weeks, this one is for anyone who has a period. Also if you don't have a period, but you are with someone who does and you want a little insight into why they might be the way they are at that time of the month, please feel free to read, as you being as understanding as you can really help. I also need to add here I know there are ways of missing periods, ways of not having them and complications that can come with them, but this is purely for periods.

Lets talk periods, shark week, aunt flow, the big red. Whatever you call it, once a month for four to seven days (sometimes longer sometimes shorter and sometimes it is missed.) Your period comes around, and my gosh does the mind know it. Not every period is the same, so this means your mood is never going to be the same. One period you can feel on top of the world the next one you can feel like the world is ending and why do you have to be the one going through this. As much as I don't like to admit it to myself my mood does change with my period, not always but when it does I can be the worst person to be around, and don't my family know it. I often become extremely sensitive the week before; anything said that could be taken the wrong way will be, and I am close to being in tears. The week during a period can be varied as periods go on, you do become more aware of these changes compared to the early years. Having said that it can still be unexpected the sudden changes in your mood, you go from being completely ok one day to the next not being ok. It's all because your body is getting ready for something that at that moment in your life you aren't ready to do which is having a baby, you have all the hormones, all these physical changes happening in your body, that when it comes time your body then has to get rid of what it has over the time since your last period been getting ready for. Your body thinks it's going to be growing another human; it's what it naturally wants to do. But this as I've said brings a whole load of emotions.

The emotions, and therefore mood swings, changes and varies greatly, it can for not only the person going through them but for those around us be a bit like being on a rollercoaster. This meaning periods don't only affect the body, physically, but also mentally and emotionally it can be exhausting, painful, and dare I say at times unwanted. But all is not lost, there are ways to help, ways to combat and ways to prepare for the week leading up to the period the week during and the week after when yes hormones are going back to being well a little less tetchy and making us feel a little more how we want to be honestly all of the time.

During the week before its good to maybe take a wide birth of someone who is about to be on their period, Partners, spouses and families pay attention here, under all circumstances, don't bother speaking unless it is helpful if the person happens to do something wrong or something they don't usually do let this go, during this week that thing doesn't matter if you want to save yourself from what you are about to unleash, keep your mouth shut. You can though be helpful supply heat packs if needed those cramps are going to be painful, when they hit, supply chocolate, this one is a good one, dark chocolate is best it genuinely helps seriously it helps, maybe not the whole bar in one sitting if its a big bar but a few pieces are good. Above everything remember we don't hate you, it's not you, it's our bodies, hold on and remember it's only going to get more intense next week so good luck.

For those of us going through this week before the period remember not every man and his dog is against you or trying to make you feel mad, upset and every other emotion, don't take what is happening to your body out on them. Remember to breathe, take time out when you need it and do something that helps you relax, take that statement that your partner, spouse or family member has said with a pinch of salt, but at all costs don't blame them. It's not their fault, help them understand and let them know what they can do to help.
Now the week of the period, remember before when I said don't say anything during the first week, this week you are going to feel like you are walking on eggshells; any little thing can set us off, so you've been warned period week you can give any interaction a miss. On the odd period though where it's actually a good one feel free to talk and interact with us; these do happen as infrequently as they do and they are appreciated more so when we have a bad period week.
For those of us going through the period, it can be tough, our minds can be all over the place, and we can also be going through some pain, our bodies are now getting rid of everything it's built up in the beginning of the cycle, you are more on edge, and of course, you have blood coming out of you, your mood is most likely not the best but please don't be hard on yourself, take time each day if you need to for you, collect yourself, have a talk to yourself and relax, take any pain relief if needed, a bath if it helps and maybe even some early nights. Know that these mood changes soon will change, and you can get yourself ready and prepared for their next arrival. Take this week to let your body do what it needs to do, take the moods and the changes, as a gift, it doesn't need to feel like a struggle, they can be enjoyed, and they can be nice experiences. We have to be though first aware of those changes acknowledge them and understand what our bodies are going though likewise with those around us who are walking on eggshells, we need to let them know that it's ok and that we don't mean to act the way we are its just something that we can't control.

The week after the period our moods are at the start of going back to what we would love it to be like all the time, our body is and mind are going back to their none period normal, we are less tetchy and becoming a human, we want to be around, and other people want to be around. The mood changes are going; we are feeling happier, less stressed and less like we want to cry or scream at someone for what they have said. For those of us who have witnessed the beginning, the middle and now the end of the period you can start to breathe again, you can start saying things that you maybe had to change how you said them during the previous two weeks or so. The next cycle is now beginning so use this time to prepare yourself for the next period and the next lot of mood changes have everything you might need on hand and remember they don't last. We can now also stop stressing about have we leaked, have we got a massive red spot on our butts or where we have been sitting, does anyone around me know I'm on my period, can they tell. Do I need to take a spare pad, tampon, pants, clothes with me just in case. Is this little bag going to fit everything I need in this bag too big will people know, I have period products in there. We can now let those stress go, those thoughts go for at least another few weeks. Let the mental overload take a bit of a break before the next lot of thoughts pop up.

I realise not everyone's periods are plain and simple, easy, pain-free, light. A lot of the time they are heavier, or lighter than normal, missed entirely, or last longer, if this does happen, please see a health professional, see your doctor, know your normal and know what isn't normal for, everybody is different everybody's periods are different, we all vary in how it affects our moods and therefore the way we think and handle a situation. But knowing when something isn't your normal means you can sort it out, this shouldn't be something you don't feel comfortable talking about as it becomes dangerous when it isn't spoken about. It's bad for our health and for our bodies, the more we leave things untreated, so please go to a doctor if your period changes, and you are unsure as to why. They do change with stress, with weight gain or loss but if there are reasons that you don't know why get it checked out. Above all be kind to yourself, loved one, friend family member whoever it is whose having the period we've just got to let our bodies do what it's doing and please dont for the love of life saying something dumb to someone who had blood coming out of their body, and who is about to break at any moment, hug them and save your dumb comment for at least another week.

Thank you for reading this blog post, I hope you found it light not too intense and I hope you understand what people with periods go through mental, physically and emotionally. It's not always easy, but we do try our best to hide it, it isn't always painful but again when it is we try our best to hide it, and it's definitely not always fun, but again we try our best to hide it. please know that periods aren't always bad, some are easier than others, but like everything, we roll with it and can't wait for the last day to arrive. I know being able to have periods can be seen as a blessing and I really mean it when I say this I feel for those of us who can't and don't have periods, who have heavy periods, who have lighter periods to the point where it's nearly none existent, to those two have unbearably painful periods, if feel for you and understand how hard it is but know you are not alone, and you shouldn't feel alone, please speak out if you do your health is important, and there are more people than you realise going through this.

Thank you again, for reading I hope you have a lovely day, sorry this is another long post if you made it this far here is your medal 🥇

Love always Thinking out loud xx :D

Periods

Hey Thinking out loud here :D

Another week with a sit-down blog post, so again, much like two weeks ago get a drink and a comfy seat as we talk about everything to do with periods. No not the little dot that ends a sentence but the sometimes painful always bloody time of the month for a lot of people worldwide. If you’re a guy feel free to keep on reading, you might learn something you didn’t know. Still, also it’s all good if this isn’t something you want to read about, but I strongly urge you do read as I’m pretty sure you will know at least one person who has periods, and you never know when they might need your help whether it is getting period supplies or just a friendly face to talk to. 

Without further waiting, let's talk PERIODS.

First, off not everyone has the same period, not every period is the same, some months you can breeze through it others you want the ground to make a hole and swallow you up just so you don’t have to be in pain. I’ve had all different kinds of periods, ones from no pain at all, they were all in the first couple of years of my periods starting, to the most painful I had when my periods had well and truly settled into my adolescent body. I’ve had everything from cramps, fainting, vomiting and being in crippling pain on the bathroom floor, only to be greeted the next day with the heaviest most painful period I’ve known, thankfully that night was a one-off.

The same can’t be said for fainting, that’s happened twice though one was mostly to falling having had no breakfast which after a period did follow the next day. The second was entirely down to period cramps and happened to be a half-day at school, though a half-day I managed to still leave after every student as I had to wait for my mum to pick me up. It was a day I’d been looking forward to as after school I was meant to be going swimming at the beach with friends though fainting put a quick end to that when they saw me being driven home, I was mortified when my mum said Freya isn’t going swimming she fainted at school, so I’m taking her home, I had up to that point had a bit of hope she’d say I could still go, but no I had to miss out because of fainting though I wouldn’t have been swimming anyway  not unless I wanted to test out a tampon which I wasn’t keen on doing. This also happened to be the same day as the second and most devastating Christchurch earthquake it also occurred around the same time, the afternoon news was on, and it had just come through live. All of these incidents I will talk about again in a bit more detail, don't worry, it won't be gory, it will just be my experiences with them.

I’ve never spoken about periods this publicly or really to anyone apart from close friends, mainly because it seems to be such a taboo subject yet it’s one of the most naturalist things anyone could go through in their lives. My mind was changed about the whole way I looked at it when I started listening to an audiobook named Periods by Emma Barnett. If you haven’t read it or listened to it, I highly recommend you do. I heard of it through watching a video from Louise Pentland, a British YouTuber whose video was on doing a plastic-free period. I also highly recommend watching as she mentions this audiobook and has some good points for if you are thinking about going plastic-free for periods. Something I am thinking about since watching that video. Plus it's something that is going to be so beneficial for the planet. Yes, it might seem gross, and that's OK it is a little. Still, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I like so many other young women never spoke about the pain I’ve gone through or having to hold onto the wall while on the toilet because I’ve gone hot, sweaty and felt faint just because of a heavy period or particularly bad cramps that day or week. Yet here I am behind a laptop screen openly talking about them simply because of two amazing women. 

I’ve never been diagnosed with anything. In all honesty, I never really knew about any medical diagnosis to go with painful periods. Or even if there was anything in fainting while on or near the first day of one. I’ve never sought out medical advice, I guess I’ve hated the idea of having to speak to anyone in person about my period or what they might say which I know is silly and maybe I should the next time I get bad cramps, which thankfully haven’t happened for a while. I also think a big part of me thought that's what’s meant to happen on your period. You’re meant to feel this pain and feel faint you are after all losing an egg, blood, and uterus lining (sorry if this is TMI, but it happens every month across the globe and is the simple reality of what a period is all about.) 

For those of you who have openly spoken to a doctor, I applaud you. And ask how the heck do you get the courage to talk about the pain? Even as I write this, I am questioning myself on if this should be uploaded or if  I’ve said something I shouldn’t. Then apart of me says no f what people think or might say the more people who talk about PERIODS, the more normal and acceptable they will become. As every person who is alive was only possible for women having had periods at some point in their lives and knowing that they were going to be able to get pregnant potentially.

My first encounter with a period was horrible, I hated the idea of it and the idea of having it for the next thirty-some years, I hated the idea of pads, tampons and simply anything period related freaked me out. I guess if I’m talking openly about periods, I should say why I hated the first one, the one that changes you from a girl into a teenager, though I wasn’t a teenager in age yet. I was in year seven we’d just had the period talk, with all the girls from the class I was in and the class next door. I remember sitting on the floor cross-legged and looking at this laminated picture of ovaries and fallopian tubes that was on a wheeled whiteboard being held up with magnets. I was just gone twelve and felt like my world was ending, it had started at the weekend something looking back now I am thankful for, had it been a school day I think it would have been even worse. I remember sitting on the toilet and my mum sitting on the bath saying that I needed to wear a pad, and me through sobs saying I didn’t want to wear one, the thought of wearing a pad and seeing blood freaked me out, it didn’t help that we were going out to some friends that afternoon. After about an hour of my mum talking and persuading me telling me I couldn’t just stay on the toilet for a week every time I got my period and that she couldn’t leave me home alone. I was old enough for a period but not yet legally old enough to be left home alone by NZ law. There really wasn’t any other option other than to wear a pad and ride out the first day of having a period. I ha to very quickly accept that this was what my body would be doing every month for a week for the next thirty-some years, something twelve-year-old me was not happy about and in no way was I prepared for it. Something I hope this blog posts will help young girls with who are at the beginning of their period life. I would have been quite happy back then to have been told every month “Hey, you’re not pregnant, keep on keeping on.” But no the reality is every month most of us women go through a lovely thing and sometimes a painful.

As I’ve previously said the first couple of years, I didn’t get any period symptoms no pain, headaches, cramps or sick feeling nothing. After the first initial period was over, I had managed with very few leaks only a couple at night. (Yes this does happen if you don’t get the sucker of a pad right then ha your period will betray you and leak through any item of clothing you are wearing, especially if it is a heavy period.) I was beginning to think that they were one of the easiest things and had no clue why other girls were complaining of pain and cramps when I didn’t experience them. This, as I have also previously stated all changed when I was about fourteen and fainted. Something I hadn’t experienced before then and knew I didn’t want to experience again as I spent that night mostly awake too scared to go to sleep in fear I’d faint again. No one would know, and I’d be unconscious for who knows how long irrational I know. Still, I was fourteen and petrified that something was wrong even though I had been reassured that nothing was wrong from our doctor friend who happened to be there when I fainted, I still needed a blood test to double-check, everything came back clear, and I was ok. The way I would best describe the first time I fainted was seeing nothing but black I heard nothing, I honestly thought  I’d fallen asleep. I actually remember saying after that I felt I had fallen asleep only to be told by my brother that I had in fact fainted. By this point, I was now starting to realise what every girl was talking about. With cramps pains and every other period symptom. 

I also previously mentioned this before. From one period I’d spent the night throwing up in agony on the bathroom floor, it had started with me waking up and my brother hearing me then going and getting my mum who was asleep as it was the middle of the night. She spent the whole night on the floor, with me crying in pain moving every way possible to stop my stomach from hurting. My dad came and checked, I could see them looking at each other with questioning looks. Still, there really wasn’t anything to be done other than riding the sick wave and hoping I had stopped by the time it was morning. If I knew what childbirth felt like I’d say that was pretty close the crippling pain and nausea, it was like no pain I had felt before or even felt since thankfully, a night I’m quite ok not having to go through again.

Then like I’ve also said came the second time I fainted it was 2011 it was in art class my poor teacher hadn’t experienced a student fainting before and was still relatively new to teaching art in a school. In no way, though was she new to art, she was an incredible artist. It was hot in class; it was still very much summer, we had the fan going full blast, but I was still hot sweaty and had cramps. Our teacher had told us to come up to the front of the class as she wanted to show us some things we were going to be drawing. I’d already felt myself going when I was sitting on my seat but had felt too scared to say anything as I didn’t really know what to say and didn’t want to say the word period in front of a class in fear someone would hear me. So I stand with the entire class and not long after I feel myself go. I faint I was later told by some people in my class that I moved around, but my pupils were massive, and that they didn’t know what was happening, I said to them that I had fainted. I had fallen forwards on to the papers our teacher was showing us luckily I didn’t fall back as I would have fallen on the cold floor and students behind me. The nurse came with a wheelchair. (The second time I had needed to be wheeled to the nurse's room, the first time I had cut my foot open, that's a story for another day.) As she wheeled me she leaned forward and asked if I was on my period I very shyly and quietly answered “yes” she didn’t really say anything other than “mmm” I didn’t think much of it other than she must have had this happen before. Thankfully since my highschool days I haven't had any crazy events happen, due to periods, yeah I get cramps and pains, but I know when they will happen, and I now know how to cope with them, unlike my teenage younger self.

I know I’ve been pretty lucky living in a country where sanitary products are accessible. Where when I’ve needed them I could go to my parents and say I needed pads, or that I was having cramps something I’ve very rarely done. Though kind of haven't needed to as the times when they’ve been bad I usually have just got out of the shower wrapped my towel around me and curled up on my bed and my mums seen on the odd times I hadn’t been able to close my door because I’d been so close to passing out had I not made it to my bed. I know I’ve also been lucky with the school I went to and having a school nurse who knew that my fainting was due to my period, and who was also calming and reassuring when I know I so easily could have freaked out for the second time. That night I found it easier to sleep even though I was still wary. And finally, I know I’ve been lucky with the friends I have who on the odd occasion we’ve gone on to the topic of periods have been open and willing to talk about them and not act like they don’t happen. 

As I get older, I’m starting to realise that the more things are talked about that are seen as taboo, the more normal it makes them, and the more I hope it helps people in a less accepting country, family, school or friend group. There really isn’t anything wrong with talking about your period, it’s not going to bring bad upon your family, or your religion. Talking about periods is going to help a younger generation of people learn more about what to expect, what will happen, and when to seek medical advice. It will stop young people from keeping quiet in fear of what might happen to them. It is going to get us one step closer to being able to be proud of what our bodies are able to do. Especially when there are women who for one reason or another who can’t have periods or have more excruciating periods than most leaving them feeling lost and like their own bodies, hate them.

I urge you not to shy away when you need a sick day because of cramps or because you've spent the night throwing up. And you’ve woken to it being on shark week, red week or whatever you call the week when you are on your period. Be open about the reason why you can’t make it in, no one has the right to say anything about it or make you feel bad for it. Be proud. Talk about it. Let people know why you might be a bit moody it’s understandable when you feel like you have a raging uterus inside you that you think wants to escape through your belly, cry when you need to, curl up when you need to, listen to your body and trust your gut when it doesn't feel right or like your normal. I’ve found that on excruciating days eating chocolate specifically dark chocolate only a few pieces though really helps with pain, especially as I’m one who isn’t a fan of swallowing tablets. 

So to reiterate again be proud, speak out and kick out the taboo period talk by talking about them.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post, I know having made it to the end of writing it I’m still nervous for uploading it but know it needs to be uploaded so if you made it this far thank you, it means a lot, and I hope you’ve had an amazing day.

Love always Thinking out loud xx :D